Today was well it was a day

pinkxcookie:

i always reblog this

Just when you think everything’s going right between them they start fighting again. I’m beginning to lose hope all over again!/: Oh well not going to stop praying for they’re marriage because its not just them I’m fighting for its my family! I have 3 younger siblings that need both they’re parents it would be different if it was just me and my older brothers! Why can’t they just be happy together.?! Something like this always happens around this time of the year! Ugh! Why must this be so complicated.?! On the plus side he stopped drinking but after this who knows all I can do is pray and hope for the best!

I miss you bubba

So Bubba today’s the first day of fall. You know what that mean the leaves will start turning colors soon and then they’ll start falling but that also means that October is almost here. I dread October Phil.😔 It’s that month that i wish would go by super fast. I know mom says I need to look at what you liked about October but its so hard! It’s hard when I miss you so much. I miss your scent, your laugh, your smile, just the joy you brought our family. I miss trying to hug you and you pulling my hair and I would yell and cry cause it hurt. I miss talking to you and knowing you’d listen. I miss everything about you bubba. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish you were here. Our family just isn’t the same with out you. Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if you we’re here still. I know you looking down in us smiling and protecting us but its not the same as having you here. When we run into people they always ask about you and we always have to tell them that you passed away almost 4 years ago and then they say they’re sorry but that’s not what I want to here because sorry doesn’t make me feel better it doesn’t bring you back. It simply sucks without you here. Nathan’s having a baby well you know that because you’ve met little Isaiah already I’m sure. Nathan cries he misses you and he wishes you were here to see the baby. I never imagined life with out you here. Sometimes I wish I could see you again. I want to see you running and jumping and talking. I wonder what your voice sounds like. How you look and everything else. I know that one day well all be together again and I can’t wait for that day. I cry cause I miss you and everything about you. I know mom dreads all this October too. She tries to stay strong for us but I know it hurts her. I love you bubster and I miss you so much💕💞

I really miss you Dad….. i havent really actually talked to you in forever!! but that okay because Gods working in your life right now. dad i love you so much please get better! Honestly if it wasnt for everything were going through i dont think id have a relationship with God. i love you dad i cant wait for you to get all better so than you can come home and we can be an amazing family that serves god… i love you Dad and im going to show you all these posts when you get all better<3333333333

Funny how you say you never go out with you friends that your always working! Umm really every time you get a chance your gone you never want to spend time as a family when we want to but when you want to then we don’t! I honestly cant wait for you to move out and go live with your girlfriend so you can bother them because I’m tired of you always yelling at us and even our mom like honestly have some respect just because your 21 doesn’t mean you can talk to her that way! You talk so much mess about everyone else but don’t forget to look in the mirror and remember the stuff you do! I’m so incredibly happy for you and your girlfriend that you two are having a baby I know you want a baby and your so excited but anytime we ask about the baby you get butt hurt and if we don’t ask then you get mad there’s no winning with you!!!!!! I really wish I could tell you something but I can’t!! I can’t have a boyfriend cause of YOU! I can’t go out with friends cause of YOU! I can’t do anything because of YOU! Let Hannah be Hannah don’t worry about me worry about you! Your not my dad or my mom you in no way helped make me so don’t act like you did! If my parents don’t are that I day why should you! I cant go out too see my boyfriend so I stay home and watch kids all day yeah I know you say it’s not hard but trust me it is when they don’t listen or do anything!! You don’t clean your room pay any bills you don’t lift a finger in this house your 21 years old not 5 start doing something you shouldn’t be able to live here for free!!! My mom and dad both have said that if I have a boyfriend we could hang out at the house and I can’t even have him come over to hang out with me because of you! You’ll get all mad and everything else!! You got with your girlfriend when she was in 8th grade so whats the different oh wait because I’m a girl and I can get pregnant umm you obviously forget that I’m with kids 24/7 and they are no were even in my right mind of wanting right now!! I’m smarter than to let a guy do that to me!!! I have respect for myself!!!! Let me have a life and have respect for my mom cause I know you wouldn’t want your kid talking to crystal like that!!!!!!

So you came over yesterday to see us and you were here this morning when I woke up.! I’m not gunna lie I kinda like seeing you but I really don’t want to get my hopes up and then you stop coming but for now this is alright. You actually text ME first this morning an said good morning. But hey there’s always a start lets see if you’ll take us to church soon and then to dinner cause oh you know I like to eat haha.! You asked what were doing tomorrow for Gracie’s birthday and I said Idk cause idk if you should be around that much yet though. Well you haven hurt me yet.! I really feel like God’s moving in your life you cried a lot when you seen us yesterday I wonder why. Well once again I never really know what to say to you when your here. Well I love you dad please please don’t hurt me again I don’t know if I can take another hurting.!

I miss my dad/: I’ve been thinking about him all day and I really don’t know why maybe it’s because Gracie’s birthdays coming up and tomorrows fourth of July I mean it’s not like you really were ever here on fourth of July but it was nice when you came home cause that’s usually when we’d lite fireworks this will be our first fourth of July with out you here.! I really do miss you daddy I miss having you here even though when you were here you were usually on your game and high but I miss having you around I’m so glad that when you come home you’ll be a changed man and the dad we need it’ll be nice to go to the dated daughter dances with you at church just me and Gracie and for you to go to church with us on Sunday’s and Wednesdays.! I’m so glad for the dad in going to have a dad that’s going to make time for his family and go places with us. Your going to be an amazing dad husband and grandpa. I can’t wait for you to meet my boyfriend I know you’ll like him my mom seemed to like him. I might get to see him tomorrow and he might be able to meet the family i know the kids will like him he’s so much fun I wish you were here for that my grandmas here and she’s an amazing grandma to us i can’t wait I have a relationship with your mom I know she’ll start going to church soon too. We love you dad we really do I can’t wait I really can’t I know your going to be such a good man I know I keep sayin that but that’s only because that what I pray for.! Gods really moving in you because you already requested my mom on instagram again. Hmm I wonder if you’ll call to wish your little girl a happy birthday.?! I love you dad goodnight